Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
