Got a toothbrush?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
