I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
