That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
