i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
