Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
