Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
