This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
