he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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