Quick, to the slutcave!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
