Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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