this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Two words: blizzard sex
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
