they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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