i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
