Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Randomize
