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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
