when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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