Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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