Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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