HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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