French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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