Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
