white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
