**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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