she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
