Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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