My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
