But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
