That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
