she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
