come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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