took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
