I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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