FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
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