About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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