I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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