Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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