do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
