dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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