It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
