You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
