Ambien. No doubt about it.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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