She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
