Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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