i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
