I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
