wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
