I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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