Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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