remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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