Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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